Just an excerpt...

I feel frustrated! I feel stranded! I don't know why I am feeling like this. Am I still in love with him? My instant response is No, but I think it is just because I was dreading the answer. I 'm gonna try once again...do I love him? Yes. My first faint response is yes. Can I imagine a world without him? No. Can I live without him? No.
I still feel like crying whenever I hurt him -- physically or emotionally. I still get damn worried when he doesn't pick up my calls or answer my messages. But, I feel as if...as if I can't spend anymore time with him. I feel that my time with him is numbered--limited. I am afraid. I am afraid that I will not be here anymore. That I will be dragged away someplace far away..I am afraid that I'm not good enough. I am afraid that I will be lonely. I am afraid that he will at last see some sense..and will then leave me.
I think that the main reason that I am angry and unsure is that he wasn't there for me when I needed him acutely. Yes, that is the reason. I realized that I had become dependent on him...I had considered him to be my rock. But he wasn't there in two circumstances...one of them way bigger for me to handle all alone. It frightened me. It felt like deja-vu. It has happened before. And that time too I lost a loved one. I'm not angry at him...not disappointed...but I have this strange foreboding....something bad is going to happen to me. I am angry at myself..at my luck..or rather, my fate. I am angry at everyone.
I can't tell him...I know. He will either apologize or try to reassure me. I want neither..as I know..it is neither his fault nor his duty. I don't want to worry him. I really want our relationship to work. So. I can't ever tell him that we have got much less time together. It will break his heart. And, I won't be able to stand it...


Hey, friends!! Just an excerpt. Nothing else. I'm thinking of making a story out of it. That is, if you all like excerpt. Even if the story really does takes place...one chapter at a time....
Cheerio!!!!! 

Corrupt India Or Corrupt Indians?

Well, friends, so sorry for not posting for such a long time. No internet connection.
Today, I wanted to write about India's leading problem -- CORRUPTION

My dearest Indians,

We all cry and mope around about India's corruption. To use the specific word 'bhrusht hai Bharat'. We lay the blame on India's ministers and government officials. It surely is their fault as they do ask for bribes.  
 But, we often hear our elders saying that they had to bribe the government clerk to accept their application, or had to pay a big sum to a certain official to pass their file, etc. I want to ask all of them, what is had to in that particular situation? Of course, giving bribe speeds up your process, spares you the ticket if you break traffic rules, and lets you have  many other benefits.  But do the Indians think about India? What makes India corrupt is its citizens. A lowly peon asks for bribe so that he, in return can give a bribe to his higher authority for doing some favor for him. This cycle continues. But, what if the citizens, from whom the bribe is taken, refuse to bribe anybody? Sure, the government works and procedures will get slower than usual, but isn't that a small price to pay for the betterment of our country? We bribe so that the law is passed in our favor, but shouldn't we wait patiently and let the verdict be lawful? I know, it is very hard to accomplish this, as there is a vast economical difference between the rich and poor o the country. If a person committed a crime and he/she is rich, then he/she can get away easily by bribing. This is the ugly truth of India, and there is no point in keeping it all hushed up. Until and unless a crime is broadcast in the national news and a total mayhem is created by it, the law will be passed in its favor. This happens most of the time. Sure, there are some honest citizens left in the country who believe in justice, but they are suppressed by the all-powerful corrupts.
The most efficient way to eradicate corruption from the country is not to think about the proverb -- 'Tit for Tat' , and act on it. If there are a few people practicing unlawful ways and encouraging corruption, we -- the majority, should discourage it and try our utmost to not give in to the filthy shortcuts practiced by our foes. We really should stand firm on our ground and deny giving any kind of bribe to speed our works.   
India was never corrupt, it is us Indians who have turned this beautiful country so filthy and corrupt. We should strive to make India a better place. Depending upon the Government to solve this problem will never work. We, the Indians will have to pledge to eradicate corruption-- by not bribing or encourage bribing, from India.


I thank my readers for bearing up with me. If you really consider yourself as a citizen of India, please, for God's Sake, stop Bribing!

WOMAN

(By- Protichi Chatterjee)

.I  should be tranquil, but I aspire to be active.

I should be docile, but I aspire to be wild.

I should be diligent, but I aspire to be impatient.

I should be inferior, but I aspire to be superior.

I wonder why I am so stereotyped.

I wonder why I am thus dominated.

Do I have no prominence?

Am I of no consequence?

Shouldn’t I have my own conviction?

Do I have to suffer such continuous interdiction?

Why should I not have equal rights?

Why can’t I reach to equal heights?

Man, why should I ask your permission?

Why should I pay heed to your silly prohibition?

I am a Woman, my dignity is paramount.

I am on equal footing with you.

You shan’t on me be so very dominant.

I have great pride in being a Woman, I do.

Let us all strive to be equal.

Let us have none of this man-woman sequel.

The World is made of both our equal contribution

We are both essential elements, we come to this conclusion.

A Twisted Fairy-Tale

Once upon a time, a girl came to live in small town named 'Hopeland'. She had previously resided in a cursed town named 'Despair-Land'. There, people couldn't fulfill their hopes and desires. The girl escaped from that dire place because she wanted a bit of hope.

The girl carried on with her life in Hopeland, but without any success of hope ever coming to her. The curse of Despair-land had taken a deep root inside her soul. Whatever she wished for came tauntingly close, and then disappeared, leaving her more broken than before. In this half destroyed condition, she met a boy in her locality. They fell in love instantly. The girl tried to resist the power of love very much, but to no avail. Love overpowered her better judgement, and she fell maddeningly and irrevocably in love with that boy. The boy too, loved her passionately. Days passed, months passed and their love and regard for each other kept on increasing. The boy taught the girl to hope -- hope for their futures together,  and the girl started nurturing that hope with great care within her. As a result of her care, her hope solidified, attaching itself to her very soul, near the place where the curse from her former home resided.  The hope she nurtured nourished itself by feeding on her life-essence. It became a part of her, and with time engulfed her heart, merging with it as one. 

But, the girl should have known better. She should have known that her greatest folly had been to hope again, to make herself susceptible to love.  The curse residing in her soul had only waited for the love and the hope to become a  major part of her heart. The moment this stage was attained, the curse showed its effect. The boy she loved so much, broke her heart and went away. The hope she nurtured broke her heart into pieces. She couldn't survive anymore with those broken pieces of her heart, unable to serve its purpose. She breathed her last breath with agony and then lay still forever. 

The curse triumphed. There was no happily ever after, just because the girl dared to hope, hope with her whole being. She was cursed. She should have learned to live with it. She should have learned not to hope.

Hope you like this new version of fairy-tale. I tried to do something out of the league. 

Dark Prince

(By- Protichi Chatterjee)

The day the sun set for forever

With the promise to rise never

Is the day I met the darkness

With its dark wings outstretched-

Ostentating its greatness.

I craved the scorching heat of the sun

But my prayers were heard by none.

Felt everything in this Earth was over

When the dark prince came riding his black beauty

Like a true lover.

He made the darkness look bright

And made my heart dance with delight.

I saw his handsome face, his mocking eyes

And it made me realize all my lies.

The truth was in front of me and I grasped it

And the darkness started inching away bit by bit.

I realized that the darkness was inside me

I grabbed the light of truth and kept it by me.

The darkness finally left the Earth

The sun again rose, laughing with all it was worth.

In the light of the truth and the sun-

I saw the prince and all that he had done.

His face glowed with love for me-

And I found my own capability to love again.

He came and planted a feather light kiss on me

And I tried to hug him, but all in vain.

He vaporized- gone to save another beauty

And all I was left with was rejection and self-pity.

But before going, he taught me-

Darkness is fought by light

The light found inside me

And whatever he did, he was right.

As I now know love in its true might.

Hey friends. This poem is a tribute to the people who have passed away in the Nepal tragedy or have lost family members in that horrifying and sorrowful earthquake.
All I request for is that at least show remorse for those who have lost their family, pray for the ones who are alive and have to suffer the lose of their loved ones, for the dead who have lost so much of their precious life.

DEAD ASPIRATIONS

(By- Protichi Chatterjee)

A night yet again passed by

With my child craving for a tricycle.

My beloved coveting to confront her ailing mamma with a sigh

And I postponing as usual, my character so typical.

The building shook, my bones within rattling

The Earth seemed to dislodge itself from the universe.

I grabbed my family with the terror within me rising

Just as the world came apart at its seams.

Voices first reached my desensitized ears

Then I felt the still bodies of my existence pressed about me.

Comprehension dawned on me with an intensity fierce

And I felt my life ebbing away from me.

Rescue had arrived, and maybe I would survive,

But all those dead aspirations cut me like sharpened knives.

If I would but give up profit-making businesses for a day,

My family would have died all merry and gay.

How to respond to the calls of the rescuers

When I desired to accompany my family in their tours?

My life wanted to come to a stand-still

All I craved for was the fulfillment of my loved ones’ will.

Burden of Lies

(By- Protichi Chatterjee.)

Cold winds blew past me and swept

Every trace of the numerous tears I wept.

Hardened my warm soul

Into nothing less than ice

And made me shudder with the gravity of my own lies.

I aimed to my right

And threw the weight of the gravity with all my might.

It only increased its power on me

And I could neither endure nor flee.

So supreme was its burden

That I was buried underneath it.

My life giving element forbidden

I was losing myself bit by bit.

I spoke aloud and thrashed for help

Maybe a one or two dog- like yelp.

No one came and rescued me

Or gave a second glance at the suffering of thee.

I confessed, thinking this was the end of me

When suddenly the burden lifted and I was able to breathe.

The heavens opened up for me to see

The showers of blessings and memories sweet.

( picture obtained from-pastorchrisjordan.wordpress.com)